Episode 209 - Emily Carlson
WFNU Frogtown Community Radio Edit
Extended Conversation - Podcast Edit
Emily Carlson’s Funeral Music Playlist
Exploring Life, Death, and Legacy Through Music with Emily Carlson
Music has the power to capture our emotions, define our experiences, and even provide comfort as we contemplate the inevitable—our mortality. On this week’s episode of Your Funeral Music, host Michael Venske sits down with Emily Carlson, an interior painter, designer, and owner of Righteous Digs. A punk at heart and an advocate for women and queer people in the construction industry, Emily brings a rebellious, deeply personal, and thought-provoking selection of funeral songs to the table.
Her choices tell a story—a journey through identity, resistance, loss, and transcendence. Let’s dive into her selections and the meanings behind them.
Patti Smith’s “Gloria”: A Punk Rock Rebellion Against Expectations
Emily’s funeral playlist kicks off with a powerful statement: Patti Smith’s radical reinterpretation of Van Morrison’s Gloria. Smith’s version, infused with raw punk energy and poetic defiance, is an anthem of freedom, self-expression, and feminist resistance.
“I’m a f***ing punk,” Emily declares unapologetically. “This song feels like a biography of my life. I am a rebel—don’t tell me where to be, and I don’t fall in line with society’s expectations of what a woman should be doing.”
For Emily, Gloria is not just about personal defiance; it’s a feminist battle cry. Women are often told they are never enough, and this song—bold, unfiltered, and utterly fearless—shatters that notion. It’s a song of liberation, of rejecting the roles forced upon us. At her funeral, she wants this song to serve as a reminder for others: if you ever feel stuck, put this track on repeat and let it fuel your resistance.
The Dirty Nil’s “The Light, The Void, and Everything”: A Love Letter to Rock and Roll
Emily’s next selection is deeply personal. The Light, The Void, and Everything by The Dirty Nil, a Canadian rock band she considers her all-time favorite, holds a special place in her heart. She recalls seeing them live just last night—still exhausted from the experience—and reminisces about a cherished moment in New York when she met the band members.
Their lyrics resonate deeply with her, particularly the line:
"Try not to be ungrateful for the gift of suffering."
“That lyric,” Emily says, “I have to tell myself that every day.”
At its core, this song represents pure, unfiltered rock and roll—the very essence of what Emily loves. Her connection to The Dirty Nil runs so deep that she jokes about making a special request: “Please just play at my funeral.”
Viagra Boys’ “Worms”: A Darkly Humorous Take on Mortality
Death and humor are not often intertwined, but Emily’s next song selection, Worms by Swedish punk band Viagra Boys, masterfully blends the two. The song paints a macabre yet strangely poetic picture of death and decay, describing how the same worms that consume one person will someday consume another.
“I just love the visual,” Emily explains, laughing. “I can see my loved ones in slow motion, all in black and red lipstick, carrying my casket through the cemetery while this song plays.”
But behind the humor lies a deeper truth. Emily lost her father at 31, a devastating experience that none of her peers could fully relate to at the time. Losing someone so close brought an unavoidable realization—death is not a distant concept; it is a certainty that we all must face.
“The hardest part wasn’t just losing him,” she shares. “It was realizing that this is going to keep happening for the rest of my life.”
With Worms, Emily turns that painful truth into a moment of collective reflection, reminding everyone at her funeral of their own mortality, wrapped in the irony of a song that is equal parts morbid and catchy.
Frank Ocean’s “Moon River”: A Dreamlike Farewell
Shifting from dark humor to ethereal beauty, Emily’s next selection is Moon River, but not the traditional version. While she grew up listening to the classic voices of Sinatra, Crosby, and Nat King Cole, it was Frank Ocean’s hauntingly atmospheric cover that made it onto her funeral playlist.
“This is one of the most beautiful love songs ever written,” Emily says. “And when I think about my funeral, it just feels like the right fit. Ocean’s version takes you to another world—it feels like a journey, like moving toward the afterlife.”
At this point in her playlist, Emily envisions a transition. From punk rebellion to existential contemplation, this song signifies a passage—drifting through life, searching for love and meaning, and ultimately crossing the river to the unknown.
Bully’s “Atom Bomb”: Searching for Identity and Meaning
For Emily, music has always been a lifeline, helping her navigate complex emotions. Atom Bomb by Bully was a song she discovered during a difficult time in a past relationship when she felt lost.
“She had these words in her songs that resonated with me so much,” Emily recalls. “Who the hell am I? What am I doing here? How do I fit in this place?”
As an empath, she connected deeply with the raw vulnerability in Bully’s lyrics. Atom Bomb is a song of self-exploration, frustration, and searching for one’s place in the world—a fitting addition to a playlist that explores life’s biggest questions through music.
Joe Cocker’s “Have a Little Faith in Me”: A Tribute to Family and Memory
Among Emily’s fiery punk selections and existential rock anthems, Joe Cocker’s Have a Little Faith in Me stands out as a deeply sentimental choice. While it might seem like an outlier in her playlist, the song holds a special place in her heart—it’s a tribute to her father.
“This is a nod to my childhood,” she explains. “We listened to Joe Cocker. His voice is iconic to my life.”
More than just nostalgia, this song is a message to her loved ones. She hopes that even after she’s gone, they’ll reach out to her memory for comfort in hard times.
“When the road gets dark and you can no longer see, let my love throw a spark,” she quotes from the song. “I hope people do that while I’m still alive, but when I’m not here anymore, they can think of a memory, or they can talk to me out loud—like I do with my lost loved ones—and just get some comfort from it.”
With this selection, Emily moves beyond rebellion and existential pondering. Here, she embraces the power of remembrance, love, and connection that transcend even death.
Rogue Wave’s “Let My Love Open the Door”: A Message of Self-Love and Transformation
Emily’s next pick is a cover of Let My Love Open the Door, originally by Pete Townshend but reimagined by indie rock band Rogue Wave. Though she initially considered Townshend’s version, she ultimately opted for Rogue Wave’s rendition, which carries a more subdued and introspective tone.
“The lyrics got me instantly,” Emily says. “When tragedy befalls you, don’t let it drag you down. Love can cure your problems.”
At first glance, the song’s message might seem like an invitation for Emily’s love to continue guiding others after she’s gone. But she flips the interpretation on its head:
“Love—as in capital L Love—is what opens all doors,” she explains. “Not my love specifically, but the kind of love that exists in all of us. That’s the message I want to send.”
For Emily, this song represents an ongoing personal journey—one of embracing self-love and rejecting the outdated notion that a person’s worth is defined by being loved by someone else.
“You’re lovable innately, just by being a living being,” she asserts. “That’s the message we should be sending.”
Frou Frou’s “Let Go”: Finding Beauty in the Breakdown
One of the most ethereal selections on Emily’s list comes from the electronic duo Frou Frou. Their song Let Go, famously featured on the Garden State soundtrack, carries an almost dreamlike quality—perfectly capturing the idea of surrendering to life’s impermanence.
“I don’t even remember the movie,” Emily admits, “but I have listened to this soundtrack over and over again.”
To her, Let Go is a song about embracing mortality and accepting that loss, though painful, is an essential part of transformation.
“It’s about the beauty in the breakdown,” she explains. “Like a forest fire clearing the way for new growth.”
This selection represents a turning point in her playlist. Where previous songs reflected rebellion, grief, and defiance, Let Go introduces a new theme: acceptance. It acknowledges that death is not just an end, but also a beginning.
Machine Gun Kelly’s “ay!”: The Afterparty Begins
After an introspective moment with Let Go, Emily’s playlist takes a sharp turn—straight into a high-energy, angsty celebration of life with Machine Gun Kelly’s ay!, featuring Lil Wayne.
At first, she hesitates, laughing as she confesses:
“This is a guilty pleasure for me, so please don’t judge me too harshly.”
But there’s no shame in loving what you love. And for Emily, Machine Gun Kelly represents an inner rebellious energy—a teenage angst that still needs expression.
“I have like an angsty teenage boy inside of me that needs to be let out,” she jokes. “I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, I go to bed at like 9:30 every night. But when I listen to this song, I feel high. I feel good. And I don’t want to come down from that.”
More than just a personal anthem, ay! represents a crucial part of how Emily envisions her own funeral: as a two-part event.
“In my family, we have the sad ceremony… and then there’s an afterparty,” she says. “And this is the afterparty of my playlist.”
Where previous songs carried heavy reflections on mortality and memory, ay! shifts the energy to celebration. It’s not just about grieving the loss of a life—it’s about living in the moment, embracing joy, and turning up the music one last time.
Miley Cyrus’ “We Can’t Stop”: The Final Send-Off
As her playlist nears its end, Emily knew she needed to include one final artist: Miley Cyrus.
“Miley has to be on my list,” she insists. “Even though she’s younger than me, I look up to her. She’s unapologetically herself, and that’s something I really admire.”
But this selection comes with an unexpected twist.
“In preparation for this, I actually read the lyrics,” Emily laughs. “And I realized I’ve been singing them wrong for 11 years.”
Where the real lyrics say, “Can’t you see it’s we who ‘bout that life?”, Emily had always heard it as “Can’t you see it’s we who brought the light?”
And yet, she’s sticking with her version.
“I’m bringing the light,” she says. “And I guess that’s why this song is ending the playlist. If I’m passing on, I’m going to this new consciousness or place, and it’s going to be bright. And I’m bringing that light with me.”
With this final track, Emily’s playlist completes its journey. From rebellion and grief to self-love, celebration, and transcendence, each song has carried her through a unique chapter of life and death.
And just as We Can’t Stop ironically closes out her funeral playlist, it also reminds us that music—like memory, like love—never truly ends.
Emily’s funeral playlist is more than just a collection of songs—it’s a statement, a reflection of who she is, what she stands for, and how she wants to be remembered. From defiant punk anthems to deeply introspective ballads, each track serves a purpose, guiding listeners through a musical journey of rebellion, love, humor, and self-discovery.
What Comes Next? Emily’s Thoughts on Spirituality and Legacy
As the conversation moves beyond the music, host Michael Venske poses a deep question: What do you imagine happens after the body expires?
Emily pauses, reflecting on her evolving thoughts on spirituality.
“I’m kind of starting to figure out my spiritual being,” she says. “That there is something outside of me, above me. An energy. But I don’t know what happens with it yet.”
She hopes, though, that she’ll get to embody it—fully, permanently.
“That would be incredible. Full time, instead of just accessing her when I meditate.”
Her perspective is open-ended, unburdened by rigid beliefs. Rather than providing a definitive answer, Emily embraces the unknown with curiosity, trusting that whatever comes next will reveal itself in time.
How Emily Wants to Be Remembered
As the conversation draws to a close, Michael asks a final, poignant question: How do you want to be remembered?
For Emily, the answer isn’t tied to traditional markers of legacy.
“I want to be the Gloria Steinem of the construction industry, which is super audacious,” she says with a laugh. “I’m not married, I don’t want to have children. I would like to have a partner one day, but I’m not going to have a legacy in the same way that other people do.”
But that doesn’t mean she won’t leave an impact.
“If I can have a community that big that loves me without being forced to—by being my offspring—what does that say about how great of a person you are?” she asks. “That’s the impact I want to have. I want to help people.”
For Emily, legacy isn’t about lineage. It’s about connection, advocacy, and making a difference in the lives of others.
The Final Notes
As the episode comes to an end, Michael thanks Emily for sharing her playlist, her stories, and her perspective. He encourages listeners to visit righteousdigs.com to learn more about her painting and design work.
And for those inspired by this conversation, the invitation stands—share your own funeral playlist at yourfuneralmusic.com. After all, as Emily beautifully put it:
“Being able to have these conversations allows us to know each other more. If I could have this playlist for everyone I know and know their reasons why, that’s such an insight, that’s such a gift.”
And just like that, her funeral music playlist, her story, and her message live on.
Emily Carlson’s Your Funeral Music playlist is a testament to individuality, resilience, and the power of music to shape our identities. Whether it’s punk rock defiance, heartfelt nostalgia, or celebratory anthems, her selections remind us that death isn’t just an ending—it’s a reflection of the life we lived.
